Prior to your divorce, you lived with and spent a great deal of time with your children every day. As your divorce moves forward, you and your spouse will live separately. Among the many divisions you have to incur, one of the most painful and stressful is the division of time with your children.
Once the divorce is final, consider the new changes in your life and how they will impact you, particularly with your children. Think about how you will deal with the likelihood of not seeing your children as often as you are accustomed. The following tips are some ways to help you get through this time.
Prepare Yourself Mentally
The first step to help you prepare for these changes is to prepare yourself for how the situation will be moving forward. Acknowledge that you will not have daily access to your children, which is upsetting for any parent, and you will have natural feelings of sadness. This reaction is a normal feeling for any parent who suddenly has less daily interaction with his or her children.
The best way to get over the sadness is to focus on what is truly important for your children. Although you will miss having your children with you every day, understand that children need to have two active and involved parents in their lives. While you will not see your children as often, take comfort in the fact they are with their other loving parent who is likely feeling the same as you.
Plan Your Time With the Children
During your marriage, you may not have had the time to plan special events or outings with your children. Once your divorce is final, you may have additional free time in your schedule since you do not have your children at home each day. Use this extra time to plan different things to do when you have your children.
For instance, instead of eating dinner at home like normal, pack a picnic and eat at the park or on the lake. Plan movie nights at home with popcorn and movie candy. Go camping in your living room with real tents or blanket forts. These small things will enhance your time together and help with emotional healing for everyone.
Understand Less Time Does Not Equal Less Love
After a divorce and subsequent reduced time with your children, you may worry your children will believe you do not love them as much. Some parents have concerns that time together equates to love. Although time spent together is important, many additional factors impact the amount of love children have for their parents.
You should understand how crucial it is to realize your children will always love you no matter how much time you spend together as long as you make every effort to invest emotionally in their lives. Quality time over quantity time is true in cases such as these.
When you divorce, you do not divorce your entire family. You must try not to have feelings of guilt. The best thing you can do is openly talk about things with your children so they understand how much you love them and intend to spend as much time as possible with them. Talking about everything with your children will ultimately help both of your cope with your new living situation. If you need assistance with any family law matter, please contact us at The Lowry Law Firm. Our staff is ready to assist you in any way we can to help you get through this transition. We look forward to working with you.