Divorce isn’t easy, even if it’s a mutual decision. It can be hard not to argue over the little things, and it can be difficult to be around one another while undergoing the process. It can also affect your family and friends.
At the Lowry Law Firm, we understand that divorce isn’t easy and can be stressful, so here are four tips to help make the process a little simpler:
Plan for Moving On NOT Riling Up
Instead of arguing over who gets what, the very first conversation you should have when deciding to get divorced, is to talk about your life and what you want individually. Speak not as a married couple but as two adults who have a history of friendship but are currently caught in a difficult conversation. Make a list of what each of you want out of life and then decide what that means in regards to the divorce itself. For example, if you own a house together and one of you wants to pursue a new job in another city while the other wants to travel, state your goals and then decide together if the house is worth keeping. In this case, you each have clear objectives and can decide logically what to do with an important shared asset.
Make a List
Before involving your lawyers, remember that this is your divorce. Sit down separately and make a list of all the assets each of you wants. Then rank each item with a number (1—least to 5—most) to help determine who values what the most. You don’t have to do anything with this list or you can bring it with you to share with your spouse and lawyers. The ultimate goal is take the time to clear you head and decide what’s really important.
Kids Come First
If you have kids, don’t hide your decision to separate from them. Kids pick up on when things are wrong, and they will be better off if you are open and up-front with them. Your children should not only be the first to know of your divorce, but they should also be the top priority throughout the entire process. Try to keep your interaction with your spouse as normal as possible around your children.
Post-Divorce Bucket List
Even if the divorce is your decision, there might be feelings of sadness at the end. Before you finalize your separation, make a list of things you wanted to do. At the end of your divorce process, pick three of these things to do to help give yourself a chance to rediscover who you are as an individual. Doing something for yourself will also help induce feelings of happiness and self-worth.